huh. so i don't know how to describe this feeling. it's kind of a mix. maybe a bit of disappointment, hurt, melancholy, misunderstandings... and definitely helplessness for not being able to take back what actions have been taken, be it my own or someone else's.
i've had no time this quarter. spring quarter, i suppose, is most stressful because the sun comes out and all you want to do is relax. your motivation level sinks to its all-time low, and you frankly don't care because you're behind on schoolwork anyway. what's the point, really, to play catch up? i hate that game. i was on top of everything fall and winter quarter, and here i am now, lacking every spirit to work hard. summer's just around the corner (okay, not even... maybe more like just outside your door), and honestly, i'm burned out from everything. i love my job, i enjoy everyone's company, but gad damn. i'm getting sick of it all. i need some time off, and i know that is the only thing good for me right now. away from everyone, away from troubles, away from this environment, away with everything that i have been immersed in for the past year. in this sense, i'm really glad i'm going to japan this summer, because that means i will get the getaway that i've been craving without even trying. thank goodness. i'm just done. i'm ready for next year. i just hope i survive the remainder of this one.
it's funny. when one aspect of your life is going extremely well, some other part of your life is falling apart. i've never got that perfect balance, you know. and once i start to mend the pieces of the fallen part of my life, the stable side throws a tsunami. and with what has been happening in the last couple days, i really am starting to get sick of my life. i know i can't please everyone, so stop trying to make me feel bad for what i had deemed a reasonable action. i'm sorry if it had a negative effect on some, but i don't know what else i can do. why am i even trying?
blah, blah, blah. let me complain about my life for a second, alright? i mean, the last post was ages ago. too bad time is the only thing that will solve everything.
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